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Women often wisely use their feelings to navigate life, but when you consider how often men misinterpret them, it’s actually a miracle we can still relate to each other! It’s more the language around feelings that becomes cryptic for men and, after so many millennia, a modern man needs the code to stay on the right side of that eloquent tongue.
“I don’t really feel like that tonight” can be a cue for the attentive man, especially if she added “anymore” somewhere in there. It may well be that your dinner plans are just too much for a tired lady who’s worked hard all day, but it could easily be something else. You said something or neglected to say or do something that morning, and you’re in the dog box before you even get home that night. That’s just how a woman is. At the first signs of that being expressed, however, an attentive man can still resuscitate things.
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How women argue
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Never forget, women argue with a mixed bag. All we tend to trade on is right and wrong. Women are also both right and wrong at times, but woe the man who bangs on about it when they’re wrong. Be gracious and stay calm, the savviest men allow women to fume and turn circles without comment, as they know that letting a woman come back to her own calm and pleasant disposition without provocation is the mark of a sensible man.
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Other heads-up phrases women give to men:
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Female anger
“I’m not angry!” She’s angry. Women are in massive denial about their rage. If you know a woman is approachable when upset, get close and fish for the real reason for the upset. Find the hurt. If she’s more given to “Leave me for a moment!” kind of behaviour, do that. Be soft and caring upon your return and gauge responses slowly.
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Self-effacement
“It’s fine, don’t get me anything.” Unless you’re doing a low-impact and politically green lifestyle by agreement, this is your cue to get her something extra nice. No thinking man actually allows a woman to live out her self-sacrifice. Even if you are dating a minimalist, get her something nice anyhow. Far better to be in trouble for being exorbitant than cheap.
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Public presentation
When you hear “I’m nearly done,” she isn’t. Get ready for an hour of Dexter. But try never to grumble - a woman in public and a man in public are two very different creatures, and no sane man denies a woman the right to “get ready” as she sees fit. No matter that you’ve lost consciousness from boredom, always remember to tell her how lovely she looks once she’s finally ready to leave the house. Flattery in that moment goes a long way.
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Babysitting interpretations
“Can you take care of the kids then?” This question holds the spectre of a two-planet experience. She means doing the extramural run after you collect those repaired items at the tailor and bread and milk at the shops, cooking fish and three veg for supper while dosing the pool and helping the youngest with maths homework. We, however, think that question implies pizza takeaways and absent or snoring children while we crack a cold beer and watch telly. When a woman depicts a task as minor in speech, brace yourself.
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When she’s (not) fine
“I’m fine.” She isn’t. She might be, but as like as not it means “I’m totally not fine.” And if she isn’t, neither are you. Wise men make sure she’s fine by applying attention and even spoiling a little. There’s a line between pressing a woman to divulge her angst and simply paying attention, so beware of crossing it. Don’t be insistent on sense, just be present and caring and don’t believe the first reading. Ask again, to be sure, and if it’s an obvious mask, pay attention and show interest and caring, you can’t go wrong.
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You might have figured out by now, the “code” is more about staying on the right side of the law than actually successfully interpreting everything you’re going to hear. Indeed, a large part of a committed man’s life is spent simply avoiding minefields. A wise man is a happy man, as he listens carefully and avoids getting emotional himself.
Listen with empathy to your lady, to the unsaid things too, and you’ll turn your franchise around. No man ever got into trouble for being too attentive, and just the effort you make trying to decipher any hidden meaning will accrue loads of brownie points too! That you care enough to try and ensure that your lady is happy inside, is goodwill you can’t buy.
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