No two ways about it, sustainability is trending right now. It is the buzzword on everybody’s lips. And it is about many things. It is about taking the recycling to the drop-off point en route so that you do not have to waste that oh-so-pricey petrol or emit unnecessary fumes in our dearly beloved but endangered atmosphere…. It is about making a pot of tea so that you can get the most out of that humble little teabag, rather than turfing it into the bin with one single cup…
But there is a facet to sustainability, something so very key to its practice that we are oftentimes quick to forget. And that is, the importance of emotional sustainability. If you find yourself grappling with the notion, struggling to embrace this philosophy of being for your own good, then simply do it for those you love, because you have nothing to offer when your basket is empty.
Sometimes ‘just say no’ ain’t good enough.
It is easy for someone else to tell you to ‘just say no’, but they might not know the emotional toll this may take on you. Do we want to dine out with our friends? Of course. Would we like to take our children to the park for a day of fun in the sun? Most certainly. But decline and postpone certain engagements until you feel strong enough for the emotional demands of an outing. If you commit out of sheer obligation alone, you will only find yourself poor company or, worse, putting on a happy face to please others. So wait, there will come a day when you are ready. Otherwise, if you feel getting out of the house will be a welcome distraction, or you’re missing some Vitamin D, then by all means, go for it. But you decide. You do you
Play to the strengths of others.
In times of need, remind yourself that it is okay to ask for help. Really. Truly. You would do the same for a friend, surely? So why do you find yourself undeserving of a little tender loving care? Keep in mind of course, that it is not sustainable practice to wallow in self-pity and rely on that same-old-same-old friend, who gently lets you whine on to your heart’s content. It’s time for a little creative problem-solving. Consider what each of your friends has to offer. Then consider what a particular situation demands of you and who will have the best advice or assistance to offer. If the person is unavailable, you’ll be surprised what Google knows. If they are available, and if you have played to their strengths, they will feel useful, and you will feel nurtured. It is a win-win situation.
Always return to the things you love.
Perhaps you love hosting a dinner party, but fear you may be too exhausted to pull off your usual spread. Whip up a simple but delicious salad nicoise… Or get all your dinner guests involved in rolling their own Vietnamese springrolls with fresh, julienned vegetables (bought pre-diced if possible!) and fragrant coriander. The right friends will love you for it. Otherwise, if company and the kitchen is not what you crave, a good read in the hammock on a calm summer’s eve, or an hour’s soak in the tub with salts and candlelight… You know what you love. So go there. Seek out whatever it may be that brings you joy in times when you feel your soul growing weary. Restore yourself. Only you can be responsible for your emotional wellbeing now. And practice makes perfect.
Date Published: 05 February 2016
